Patrick Henry said give me liberty OR give me death, not both: A self realization involving ice cream bars

This is the Pinterest page for MYO ice cream sandwiches. I felt douchey calling out one Instagram account because I don’t approve of their excessive gluttonous bars.

I saw an Instagram video of someone pouring rich brown ice cream over a sheet pan filled with fudge and hazelnuts. They put the sheet pan in the freezer, solidifying the ice cream and fudge layers and then cut it into slices and poured melted chocolate over each one. A hazelnut fudge ice cream bar… a thing of beauty… a thing that I don’t want?

It’s overwhelming.

I just want one of those things, either the fudge and nuts or the ice cream. I can’t imagine making something so gratuitous. I’d never get to the part of the recipe when I pour the not yet frozen ice cream over the fudge because I would be out of my mind excited about having a sheet pan of homemade fudge in front of me that’d I’d just settle for that. I also feel this way about cake pops, ice cream sandwiches, and burgers that have eggs and bacon and onion rings on them.

What a waste of cake! (photo courtesy of Melissa D’Arabian on Sorry Food Network you were where I found recipes when I was a little kid who’d only heard about chefs if they were on TV).

What the hell Rachel Ray! Spumoni is indulgent enough, why pair that with not one but TWO cookies?! Are you trying to murder me?
Taken from 2015 July/August issue of Food Network Mag.

Patrick Henry said give me liberty OR give me death, not both! Gratuitous desserts and sandwiches are not this American’s way!

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