Patrick Henry said give me liberty OR give me death, not both: A self realization involving ice cream bars

This is the Pinterest page for MYO ice cream sandwiches. I felt douchey calling out one Instagram account because I don’t approve of their excessive gluttonous bars.

I saw an Instagram video of someone pouring rich brown ice cream over a sheet pan filled with fudge and hazelnuts. They put the sheet pan in the freezer, solidifying the ice cream and fudge layers and then cut it into slices and poured melted chocolate over each one. A hazelnut fudge ice cream bar… a thing of beauty… a thing that I don’t want?

It’s overwhelming.

I just want one of those things, either the fudge and nuts or the ice cream. I can’t imagine making something so gratuitous. I’d never get to the part of the recipe when I pour the not yet frozen ice cream over the fudge because I would be out of my mind excited about having a sheet pan of homemade fudge in front of me that’d I’d just settle for that. I also feel this way about cake pops, ice cream sandwiches, and burgers that have eggs and bacon and onion rings on them.

What a waste of cake! (photo courtesy of Melissa D’Arabian on foodnetwork.com. Sorry Food Network you were where I found recipes when I was a little kid who’d only heard about chefs if they were on TV).

What the hell Rachel Ray! Spumoni is indulgent enough, why pair that with not one but TWO cookies?! Are you trying to murder me?
Taken from 2015 July/August issue of Food Network Mag.

Patrick Henry said give me liberty OR give me death, not both! Gratuitous desserts and sandwiches are not this American’s way!

this is my lunch, I could make it look better but what’s the point?

Alternative title: I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours.

tilapia, desk lunch,
desk lunch

Tilapia pan fried (breaded to make me forget it’s tilapia and think it’s something better), I buy this at Aldi because it’s insanely cheap, and they sell some with a sustainably caught crest, and this is my compromise for not being a vegetarian even though I know that I ought to be.

The olives are really nice because they’re so fatty and salty they keep me grounded. I have low blood pressure/ feel half alive when I’m at work so I think the salt helps. They were part of a Spanish medley at Mariano’s (Chicago-area grocery stores that are like Publix or Stop & Shop but much better). And sun-dried tomatoes make everything taste more interesting. I feel I am more interesting and mature eating sun-dried tomatoes.

What do you eat for lunch? One of my dear friends swears by a tub of this hummus with a bag of baby carrots. I often do a similar thing when I’m too lazy or busy to cook, though I don’t have the brand loyalty she has, and I usually buy baba ganoush because I prefer it to hummus.

Life Lesson: You can’t eat ice cream for every meal.

I know what you’re thinking, oh yeah, bet I can! But no you can’t because I learned this the hard way: going to the doctor when I was 16 and him saying Emma I’m sorry to tell you this, but in the past year your cholesterol has skyrocketed! I’d just gotten my first job and with a sense of newfound freedom and a little change in my pocket, I was eating ice cream for dinner 5 nights a week. And sometimes for lunch on Sunday too! So believe me when I tell you, you can’t eat ice cream for every meal. You’ll probably die.

Screen Shot 2017-04-02 at 11.16.50 PM
I try to keep it down to 3-4 times per week now.